kallador's blog

Lets just say, even in IT there is pawns, I find myself in this case that I am one of the 2 golden pawns and seems that I have made a promotional deal that seems to be hard to break. When there is 2 opportunities, I applied for them I get interviewed. What really gets me is the latest rejection, The previous one was also a walk in the park as well but I got denied for someone with lesser skill than I have. That is when I noticed, when I walked in with the interview and the excuse that I didn't get it was my resume was the determining fact which is I find was BS. my resume is good, it has all the key focus and features that any one likes to see. I was interviewed at that time with 3 different people 2 in this case didn't want me to leave my golden pawn status. So this second interview comes around for the second job I wanted to apply for to move out and away from being this golden pawn, This time I was interviewed by 2, the 1 in question is I had a feeling didn't want me...

This is one of the days, I feel like a broken ATM machine.  Everytime we fight, it is over about money I have to make payments to my car, the house, I have bills... No is a word that doesn't seem to be taken or even heard of. I say it strongly because it is bullshit that I have to repeat myself over and over again when I am broke really really broke that I am the bad guy because I am just an ATM machine as I feel like I am one if they don't get what they want the bad guy finger is pointed at me. I get threats of multiple different things, stupid actions happen to attempt to call me out as if I am lying or bluffing at this point.  One month or bi-monthly I will spend over 500 in money to them, rather it is bills or the little things like food cigs and so on. That hurts alot on my end as I could be using that money for my health, to better my image, to better my career.  But instead I sit here broke, pissed off at them because they wont stop and wont take no for an answer...

As I am sitting Herr watching blended, I was thinking how this resort in Africa with cultural experience. I was thinking on my theory on how this planet needs to let go on hatred and humans needs to let go on politics and religion. I think since USA is the free nation that we should turn all the countries to the same nation and political stand points and culture should be only a resort. Like China would be divided into states, same for Russia, euro would vanish the UN would be dissolved. All kings would be dissolved, and royalty would no longer exist but as a tourist attraction. Middle east would be dissolved of all religion tensions, all powers and super strict policies replaced with a political stand point lime of the USA. United as one we could travel planets find solutions to better the lives of humans and achieve a new goal of evolution. President would stay the same but there would be presidents of different places of the world. This idea would make peace and a better plac...

Life Life we all live is a giant illusion, as we grow older we leave behind our childhood and enslaved to paper, politics, religion, and poison. Money, is an illusion created man to control man and the system has been in place for ever it is a paper that we are forced to be enslaved by.  To keep this system up we have to form things around it make it what people crave and if you don't have it you are on the corner begging for it. Politics, because everyone wants to be a leader and the ones who don't have to use money to buy off that political person who fakes being a leader to earn more of the paper illusion. These people leading people has always been there even though we are capable of leading ourselves and providing for ourselves. Religion, worst illusion we have in place today, it is no different than the politicians, it is in the greed to be the worlds king, some are plugged into the matrix where it is to a point of complete enslavement with the illusion of peace and n...

I have been in a struggle for some time, since my diagnose with Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma B-Cell High Grade in 2003. Life has changed a lot of my perspective. Recently I was just thinking to myself and to really realize that my life has changed. Beyond the psychological and emotional consequences of how cancer affected me, my family, and my relationships, it is undeniable and abundantly clear that cancer took its toll on me from a physical & emotional perspective. Since 2003, it has been a rocky road for me, both physical and emotional. Since the cancer I have a rough luck with relationships, and emotionally it has made me feel like I don't need to exist, in which it makes me feel like I should have never survived the cancer because the hardships to find a companion is taken it's toll. Even when I was married with my ex wife would call me names to enrage the conflict even more to hurtfully gain a point in my life that left me feeling like I wished it would of never happened, ...

In re-action after reading this. http://www.rappler.com/life-and-style/relationships/75808-dating-filipino-woman-lessons?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=referral When I got the hook up from my step fathers, brothers, wife's niece. I was expecting an awesome relationship as I have heard from stories even on this. Instead I learned nothing, but what a real "Village Bi-Cycle" is metaphorically speaking. First I learn was Lies and Betrayal from the start and hard way to learn is never keep going as it only gets darker from there. When I learned that she came here upon force and when she was here she was pregnant already from a guy from the village. I learned then and there, I should of placed a stop to it and let go. Second was the sequential "Hidden Agenda" of the solo girl. Upon being here, her only main agenda is her family. I attempted to help but all that did for me was cause more grief then good. Sacrifices I have made to help her out was all my wrong d...

Seriously leave me alone, I swear stop harassing me, I don't want your money I don't give a flying fuck about you nor your life. You fucked me out of my life living in Redmond Oregon, But I wasn't the only one who you fucked as well. You couldn't handle me as an employee instead you wanted a closet monkey slave and knowing that Oregon allows for closet monkey slaves it was in to your gain. Fuck that, just leave me alone you lonely and shit excuse of a human being. I want nothing to do with you. You need to find someone else that you can con and manipulate because I am not going to be that guy.